If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
