I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
