Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
