whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
