i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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