Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
