I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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