mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
