so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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