are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
