some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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