what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize