Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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