we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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