I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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