oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
