He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my liver is dry heaving
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
