She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
