there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
