I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
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Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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