Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
