her vagine was all disorganized.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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