I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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