I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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