hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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