1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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