im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
