We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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