Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
