Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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