You're so nebulous sometimes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
