this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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