Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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