It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
