Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize