the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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