Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
