Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
