He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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