wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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