From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
