Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
