In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
