1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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