I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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