My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
