I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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