i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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