I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's the barista slut.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
