Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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