Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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