apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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