What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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