are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
