Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
