It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
