Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
