There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Barsexuality is the new black.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
