I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
