i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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