I wanna bring you to show and tell
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
