ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...