I heard we made out
I'm jealous of your bromance
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You made out with two different species that night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.