i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship