Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed