so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe