Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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