Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
