Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
