I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
